his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
