literally had 100 drinks last night.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize