I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
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I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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