it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
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I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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