Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize