I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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