yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
