I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
