dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
