we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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