that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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