Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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