Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this just has baby written all over it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
