I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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