we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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