PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
