This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You were trust falling into bushes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize