Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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