he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
