Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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