just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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