Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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