I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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