Screwed.edu
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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