So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize