those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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