Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
