I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
