I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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