I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
