somebody snuck up and got me drunk
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
