I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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