When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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