I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
