Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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