sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
