Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
