yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
