I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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