Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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