if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
