Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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