I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
