addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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