dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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