If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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