some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
