I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
