SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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