this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
