I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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