If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
