yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
