We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize