At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
