Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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